"That's not a very common occurrence."
Yes, but think of the circumstances: I live in a first world country, a more developed nation, even, a nation ranked with the Global North. The restroom in which this took place is an oft-frequented restroom by many. And I am under the impression that when a person enters a lavatory they expect a level seat, a comfortable seat, one that does not lead the user to contemplate lopsidedness. It is because of these things that I feel this is a major oversight.
So I'm concerned. First because I am fearful of the plumbing nightmare this may foreshadow, and heaven forbid my classes are canceled because of a break in the sewage line
"Sick."
I know. Second, I am concerned because this powder room is in the tallest building on campus. And the two toilets are on the first and second floor. And as such, I am forced to believe that the building has a crooked foundation. Now would be a good time to go through a wide breadth of metaphors regarding weak foundations
"Please don't."
Don't worry, I won't. But allow me to express this one last thought, rather prediction, on the matter. The building, one day, will be leaning so much that it will topple!
"You've got to be kidding."
I'm just sure of it. And I don't think any kind of fortuitous circumstances as surround the Leaning Tower of Pisa will be in any way connected to our building.
I love it Amanda! The interjections are awesome! You really are a creative writer.
ReplyDeleteWe can only hope that Cecil O. Samuelson, or heaven forbid, yourself, is using one of the aforementioned toilets at the moment of the collapse.
ReplyDeleteLet's just be happy that we live in a country that has toilets. Unlike where I was this summer.
ReplyDeleteI dont' like those toilets in that building either because I have been in there with another person in the stall next to me and neither of us had toilet paper. We had to wait till another came in so they could get some for us. I will walk across campus before I use those toilets again.
ReplyDeleteOh, great post!
Governor Cool, how biased are you? Have you ever stopped to think that maybe some people have lopsided butts? And for those unfortunate people, this one "uncommon" toilet may be the blessing that they have been praying for. They always say you should walk in someone else's shoes before judging them; maybe you should sit in someone's buttocks before condemning rare treasures. Truly, it is a real throne for someone out there. The really sick part of this story is I know you just urinated/defecated on this mishappened miracle. You should be ashamed.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I'm grateful you had this experience so you could warn the rest of us. I have to say, though, even worse are those toilets where everything looks just fine and normal, but then you go to sit down and the toilet seat has become unbolted on one side so it (and by default you) go sliding around for a bit until everything steadies out again. Sometimes this may or may not result in you actually falling off the loose toilet seat completely, or suddenly sitting on the toilet rim...which is a whole different story of germs altogether.
ReplyDelete