Ex Amore Guadium

This could get sappy: Usually every day I wake up I'm convinced it's Saturday and naturally I wonder why I set my alarm so absurdly early. I also wonder, sometimes, where I am, and I also wonder, all the times, what in heaven's name do those birds have to fret about so early in the morning. My thought process then turns to the homework that had a target due date of yesterday, yet to be completed, and I strain to grasp onto any shred of light seeping through while I slowly come to realize that the snooze button is not my friend on this day. I do find a shred of light, I always have, but lately, since spring, this shred of light is more of a warm ray of sun coming through the window on a crisp day while I lay on the carpet with a book and follow the light around the room finding balance with slumber. I remember that I am in love. And that makes it ok that even though I'm quite certain it's been seven days since the last Saturday it can be Monday, and the homework shmomework assignment will be completed eventually, and those birds can just carry on their merry way because when my whole life is consumed in a dreamland I have little thought to spare the unfortunate circumstance and taint la vie en rose.


Early Bird

Mostly the birds wake me up in the morning. It's been quite nice outside lately so we've been keeping the window open and I just sleep in so late now that the birds are already up tweeting twittering flapping flying bustling and making all manner if rustling noises. Bless them. Sometimes it sounds like they're fighting and I wanna go to the window and ask them to please take it to the next window, but I'm so darn attached to my bed at least 20 minutes after my alarm goes off that I don't know if I'd get out of bed even if the ice cream truck came right to my door on free-ice-cream-from-the-ice-cream-truck-man day. Is this a problem? No, I can begin lounging the second I wake up by trying to fall back asleep. I can rest my body for a teansiest bit longer to prolong the stresses and pressures of the coming day. I like to wake up and not remember what day it is; I despise waking with a brain that picks up right where I left off on the Econ problem from the night before; it makes me feel like I never even slept! And, as one of my top ten most favorite and participated in pastimes, I'd like to remember how great sleeping was more that where I am or how I got here. Really, those questions need no be answered until at least a generous 10 am.


Upside Down

WARNING: The following body of text may cause sudden urges of acrobatic movement. Proceed with caution and a safety net.

We need to occasionally look at the world while upside down. It is so easy to get lost in our own lives and think ours is the only perspective, these solutions we see are the only fix to our problems, everything that can be invented has been invented, blah blah bleh etc. These are very limiting thoughts. When we stand on our head, our perspective changes, the problems we thought were problems are now smelborp; which, when translated, means hakuna matata.

To change your perspective without changing your position is a huge mind battle and requires imagining yourself in a place you are not actually occupying. Move to the other side of the room, stand on your head, move up a few floors and look down to see how the situation changes. When we change our perspective we change our questions and if we change our questions while we have the same problems, and we most certainly will have the same problems, then we can change our solutions. When we find different solutions then plagues we have dealt with our whole entire lives suddenly seem manageable. Theoretically. Hopefully practically as well; would you let me know if this works practically as well?


In other news, I read an article today about this house that crazy built and this couple who basically live in an obstacle course with no interior doors and uneven ground to the extreme. There are no children allowed, adults have to sign a waiver, and there are floor to ceiling polls to hold onto if you can't keep your balance. The idea is that the house keeps your body in an equilibrium that keeps you fit and healthy and mentally stimulated so you boost your immune system and never die. Sounds good enough. They say it is when you are comfortable in your life that death finds you. They say it's immoral that people have to die. They say they decided not to die. Why fight death? Or maybe they're fighting for life. I am not afraid of death but I appreciate the idea of fighting what can't be fought. It means you are passionate to the point of disregarding simple facts that determine your success before you even start because you simply have so much will power that you believe you can just will it to happen. If you focus enough and work enough and think enough then with a little pixie dust sheer will can overcome the most insurmountable obstacles. And maybe, just maybe, you'll succeed. So I won't fight death, but I will fight. Also, I have an agreement with a certain pixie and my life is dusted.

Sleep Deprived

Here's what's up. One of my greatest anxieties is to sleep in past the alarm and miss that really important once in a lifetime chance that I'd been waiting for since I knew how to wait. This is a real fear. I can't sleep the night before big events because I stay in this limbo sleep for fear of falling too deeply and giving into the roller coaster made of donuts and twizzlers rather than hear my alarm. I have, in the past, set a total of 7 alarms on two different devices with snoozes and all alarms at random intervals-just to be safe. I learned this from my dad. Thanks dad. But. If I go to sleep any time past 2 am then I set no alarm because I feel ridiculous setting an alarm anytime later than 9:30 am. It's like the heat from the sun should wake you up at that point, or you should hear your life moving on without you and that should wake you up. 


Life Changing

We can all thank Cinderella for teaching us that one pair of shoes can, in fact, change our lives. I got a new pair of shoes a few months ago and have loved every day ever since. The process was really amazing. I had to decide I actually wanted to buy shoes. Then shop around to see what kinds I liked. Then find the right pair at the right price in the right shade of brown and then had to fall in love. Which wasn't the hard part, I mean when you've been shopping like I have it's pretty clear when you've found the perfect fit. And then, every time you wear those shoes it's like the best day of your life, they are the detail you've been missing with each outfit to move it from cute to super classy cute. This is how I know it's a good purchase. Shoes can make a mark, not just on the leaves I'm crunching, the rocks I'm kicking, the snow I'm crunching, the puddles I'm rippling, but on me, myself, my life, my outlook, my perspective. Funny that looking down at a pair of shoes makes me look out and around and into the future.


Smells Like Spring

Today, I smelled Spring. I was right outside the building for my next lecture and all of a sudden this wind came from the east and ran through my body like a true love. A smile, obvious on my face, a spring, bouncing in my step, my hands, bare as I rip my gloves off to feel the buoyant sensation. I smelled life, excitement, joy and laughter, and a certain magnificence. . . this Spring will be one to remember I'm sure. It'll lay dormant and then one day, BOOM! Like you wouldn't believe. I've been walking by this one tree a few times a week and every time I pass I check the buds to see how they're doing. Let me tell you, they're doing. There is the slightest hint of a fuzz and they're getting fatter and fatter. Oh boy oh boy I really can't hold it in! Also, I have heard the birds 2 out of the last 5 mornings. I don't care what Punxsutawney Phil says, the birds tell me Spring is coming, and bless them for that glorious message. 

Too much, right? Wrong. There are never too much flowers.